Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's--it's just another day--

Well another Valentine's day has come and gone. What I am pretty sure at one time was actually a Catholic saint's feast day is yet another overrated, commercially driven holiday, complete with high expectations and inevitable disappointment. I don't know why I let myself get drawn into all the hype. In sessions this week talking to my teenage girl clients regarding V-day that "it's just another day, you can do special things for the people you love any day, or say 'I love you' any day." And of course "don't worry about not having a boyfriend for Valentine's day." I always remember as a young kid, a pre-teen, a teenager, and young adult often having that fear of not having anyone on this supposed special day. And for most of my 29 years I would venture to say that I didn't...and even the years I did, I feel I have some kind of Valentine's day curse where plans don't work out and things don't go well and it turns into a day of disappointment. But not every year has been that way.

This year my husband and I had made plans to go out to eat. We had been giving a gift card to Bucca di Beppo, which if you haven't been there, it's awesome Italian food and I highly recommend you try it! Needless to say, I was really looking forward to this, as we talked about it for a few weeks. We have been together for 5 V-days now and this might have been our first forage into "going out" for Valentine's, other years we opted to stay in and order food or go out an alternate night as we didn't want to face crowds and long wait times. So the plan was go to early, around 4:30pm, to beat the dinner rush. Of course we didn't leave on time, so we got there around 5:15pm, only to hear it was an hour wait. My husband tells me to make the call, but at the same time has this look of "I really don't want to wait an hour" on his face, so we ponder what to do for about 5-10 minutes what to do, during which he starts actually complaining about the idea of waiting an hour and I am like "let's just go" as I didn't want to wait and eat dinner with Crabby Husband. (I have yet to figure out the trick to deal with my husband once he starts getting crabby. Generally nothing I say cheers him up and then I start getting crabby too.) Anyway, we tried two other places with even longer wait times before stopping at the grocery store to get one of those $1 movies (of all the ones to pick we got "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay"--romantic!!!). I had some false hope while in the grocery store my husband would grab some flowers for me, but this hope did not materialize. (I don't think I have gotten flowers from my husband in about a year now, so it would have been nice. It's very interesting how when we first started dating I got flowers quite often, but over time it certainly did decrease, almost exponentially after we got engaged and even more after we got married. It's more the thought that counts of course. And this year I didn't end up getting or making him anything anyway.)

Anyway, so we went home and heated up some leftovers and watched movies on t.v. Nice, relaxing, a pretty typical night for us. But I couldn't help but to be disappointed. I guess if we hadn't made plans to go out I wouldn't have had any reason to be disappointed. But once you have gotten a little dressed up and have the idea that I don't have to cook tonight! in your head, it's hard to go home hungry. But, as my husband said on the way home, and as I told my teenage girl clients, it's just another day.


  1. OMG I love Buca di Beppo. Y'all should have made out in a corner while waiting. How's THAT for romantic!!

    Sorry your V-Day didn't turn out so hot. That's the problem with V-Day...whether you like it or not, there's always a lot of expectations to deal with. :(

  2. Sounds like a great place to eat. Wish I lived in a real city that other options than just Olive Garden. Expectations are tough to live up to on days like yesterday, aren't they?

  3. Yes, I think that's the main problem with the day, all the expectations. Luckily, the whole reason we were going to Buca di Beppo is because my in-laws gave us a gift card, so at some point we will have to go :)