Wow, so it's really been awhile. So much has been going on lately that I have had to neglect a few things, one being my blog. So here's a run down of events.
(WARNING: Reading the following blog may induce symptoms similar to Bipolar Disorder)
1) I FINALLY GOT A NEW JOB!!!! Hallelujah!! After over a year of searching and interviewing, last week I finally got the call that I was being offered a new job. Intially it felt surreal--after so many interviews, so many times leaving the interview feeling confident, only to have follow up calls and emails not returned, and then only to get the form letter or generic email that the position was filled with someone whose "qualifications most closely match those of the position"--finally I was that person whose qualifications matched the job. In the past week I have thought of those others who applied for this position and were never even called for a first interview, and those who went to interviews and then didn't get the call backs or those who went for a few interviews never to get the final call. I felt for them, being through it so many times. I try to rationalize that everything happens in its own time and for a reason and that this was finally my time and my season.
So this Monday I gave my boss the letter I have been wishing I could give her for over a year, that I am resigning. She took it shockingly well. I think she might have known it was coming. More on that later.
By the way, in case you are curious, my new position is working as a therapist through a hospital doing an intensive outpatient therapy program for adolescents. I have always found adolescents to be challenging; in some ways I enjoy them the most, because unlike little children you can do more "real" therapy with them, if they are willing to engage--which brings up the challenge--IF they are willing to engage! Nothing is more difficult than a bratty 15 year staring you down and refusing to talk. So, we'll see. I will miss the little ones, I love working with little kids and doing lots of my own brand of art and play therapy, which in the end usually feels more like having play dates than therapy. But I am so excited for working 8:30-5:00pm Monday-Friday, NO on-call shifts, and NO home visits.
I know no job is perfect and that this one won't be either, that I will have bad days and tough days, but I hope and pray that it's a better experience than my current place of employment (though I do have several co-workers I will miss and some clients too). I just hope this is a place where I can finally take root and get comfortable and feel like I can stay awhile and grow professionally.
Thanks to all my friends and family for their support during this long job search process!
2) So before and during all of that, my mom has been in and out of the hospital. I can't even recall where I left off describing that saga--she's been in for psychiatric treatment and then in again for medical treatment. Without going into lots of details of her personal information, which I am sure she wouldn't want me to share on the internet (well, maybe she wouldn't care, she does tend to be an open book with others about her multitude of illnesses), her physical and mental health have been up and down (mostly down) and it's been pretty hard on me. I now live about four hours away from her and I am torn, I feel guilty and wish I were closer to see her and help out more, but if I were it would probably consume my life, trying to help her and she's really at the point she needs help but she really needs to help herself. She has become pretty dependent on others to monitor her health and to care for her rather than her take charge and care for herself, which is part of the problem, and what a complex problem it is. I think I will leave it at that, rather than go into all the details.
3) And so while all of this was going on I have had some encounters with my boss that were pretty negative. Actually they could have been worse in many ways, but they definitely didn't make for a friendly work environment. Basically she scolded me several times for not keeping her up to date on issues with some of my clients and for doing things without "supervisor approval" (which for her pretty much everything needs her approval). I do understand that supervisors have obvious responsibilities and I should have done better at communicating with her about several issues. But it's really hard when you have a boss who 90% is cold and judgemental and is kind and supportive only about 10% of the time. It's a crap shoot and makes difficult situations even that much harder. Once I leave this job, if I never hear the term "supervisor approval" again I will be very happy. Luckily the people I interviewed with at my new job seem pretty relaxed and hopefully will let me work more autonomously. I feel like the more I work independently the more confident I am in what I do, instead of everything being "I have to check my with supervisor on that." Ick!
I realize that these are some of the main issues I have tended to blog about--job hunting, work, and my mom's health. Finally the work/job hunt issue gets resolved....I will keep everyone posted on how the new job goes.
I know my mom's health will be an ongoing battle. Prayers are appreciated.