It recently occurred to me that as I have gotten older that time has seemed to progress in fast forward.
For instance, I cannot believe that last weekend was just Memorial Day, the unofficial (or official?) start of summer. Summer? Wasn't it just Christmas? Where the heck did Spring go? Easter was a complete blur. Where did it all that time go?
When I was a kid, time seemed to go s-o s-l-o-w. It seemed to take forever for Christmas, birthdays, and summer to arrive. Now it seems that days turn into weeks and quickly add up to months, then years. Almost 30 now, to be exact!
I look at the subtitle to my blog, "working for the weekend" it says. That is probably the biggest culprit of time robbery there. I work at a job where most days I like what I do, but I work for a boss who is best described by all who know her as "difficult" and for an agency that is forever changing in reaction to whatever the head hauchos at the State of Illinois Department of Human Services have to say.
I have been at my job for two years now, which is about a year and a half longer than I had hoped. Since I started, everything that originally was appealing about the job has been cut--our summer camp program, day long outings with the kids, family nights--in place of the typical therapy mill, back to back appointments day in and day out. So everyday I go to work and can't wait to go home, and every Monday through Friday I get up and do it all over again. Oh yes, and then there's being on-call at least three days a month. When I am on-call, I just pray for those days and hours to go by uneventful. Lately it hasn't been. For example, I was on-call last Monday for my last shift of May and of course at 2am do-da-DOO-da-do. (Damn pager!) I got another one at 3am, luckily at the hospital just down the street! (Oh, and I realize that the Pink song I quoted in an earlier blog actually says "I don't want to be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning", but you get the idea!)
So I realize I am wishing away alot of my time. So I want this week over with and BAM! it is, and the next one, and the next one...I realized at the end of last year that I was wishing away so many hours and days and made a New Year's resolution to be better about it, and to try to appreciate my job more; especially now, in this economy, I should just be thankful to have a job. I am trying to put in the best effort and most energy possible, but day in and day out it's hard.
Post college and graduate school, the idyllic world of science and theory fades and the "real world" bites you in the face; eventually you realize that work is just work, and few truly love what they do, most people muddle through and hopefully do the best they can, but so much of our true life is what you do when you aren't working.
So I try to do the best I can during my 40 hours a week. Mostly I am trying to make the most out of all the rest of that time. It's still going way too fast.