Today, out the blue, I felt inspired to blog again. For awhile things were so busy and hectic that I didn't have the time, or if I had free time I felt that my time should be devoted to other more pertinent things. Now, as I reflect after a slow work week, it seems like a good time to write an epilogue.
A huge focus of my previous blogging dealt with my ongoing struggles with my old job and my ongoing job search. That story came to the climatic and joyous end when, TA DA--I finally got a new job! I left my old job on Friday the 13th of November (a truly lucky day in my book) and haven't looked back since.
I thought it would take months to get the voice of my old supervisor out of my head, but luckily it took only about a week, maybe two at tops. As soon as I was away from there, I had a chance to step back and reflect, finally being out of that situation. I realized how truly unhealthy my last work environment really was...that it really wasn't some kind of scenario I had built up in my head--while we all "hate" our bosses, or so it seems, this was beyond that. The control-freakishness, the passive-aggressiveness, the power struggling, and the neuroticism of my last superivsor had created a work environment that stagnated me, and at times deteriorated me,both personally and professionally. I found myself second-guessing my decisions, being nervous, catching myself between rocks and hard places more and more of the time. And for what? To please someone so unpleasant? To disserve my clients? It's so hard to explain the strangely powerful negative dynamic that was created, except that being out of it and exposed to something so much healthier made me truly realize how unhealthy it was.
From day one at my new job not only did I feel welcomed but I felt truly respected as an individual and a clinician. I wasn't constantly having to prove myself and explain myself. For the first time in over two years, I felt like I was on the same playing ground as my supervisor and the psychiatrist. My credentials and experience seemed to speak for themselves, but so did my own mouth. And I was actually listened to! My decisions were my decisions, they didn't all need "supervisor approval" (though I do value his opinion and actually seek to get his feedback on my decisions). After a week I didn't have to turn in things for my new supervisor to review. He implictly trusted my skills and that I would come to him with questions or problems. Most importantly, I felt like part of a team. A team doing treatment...which has been a great feeling!
(Now, don't get me wrong, I got great support and respect from many of my old co-workers, who were coping with the same neurotic boss, but it was quite overshadowed by the negativity of my old supervisor, who sporadically spit out a "good job" amid emails, voicemails, and post-it notes that implied and stated otherwise. And for the most part it felt like we were all fending for ourselves, between being overloaded and running here and there, there was not much opportunity for comraderie and team building, and it almost seemed frowned upon at times!)
Best of all, I feel more confident in my own clinical skills, more confident than I have felt in a really long time. So when I was told a week ago that my hours would be changing somewhat (from 10 to 6 Monday-Thursday, still 8:30-5 on Fridays), I was pretty much OK with it. Not thrilled about getting home later, but I figure everything else has been worth it. I have really been blessed to have great teens in the program, teens who have wanted to be here and are willing to open up and talk. I have been blessed with helpful, wonderful new co-workers too. The commute hasn't been bad, except for days it has been icy or snowy. And my office is located in a quite quaint and cozy downtown area that I am learning to enjoy.
So a change has really done me a world of good.
Showing posts with label job hunting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job hunting. Show all posts
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Long overdue update
Wow, so it's really been awhile. So much has been going on lately that I have had to neglect a few things, one being my blog. So here's a run down of events.
(WARNING: Reading the following blog may induce symptoms similar to Bipolar Disorder)
1) I FINALLY GOT A NEW JOB!!!! Hallelujah!! After over a year of searching and interviewing, last week I finally got the call that I was being offered a new job. Intially it felt surreal--after so many interviews, so many times leaving the interview feeling confident, only to have follow up calls and emails not returned, and then only to get the form letter or generic email that the position was filled with someone whose "qualifications most closely match those of the position"--finally I was that person whose qualifications matched the job. In the past week I have thought of those others who applied for this position and were never even called for a first interview, and those who went to interviews and then didn't get the call backs or those who went for a few interviews never to get the final call. I felt for them, being through it so many times. I try to rationalize that everything happens in its own time and for a reason and that this was finally my time and my season.
So this Monday I gave my boss the letter I have been wishing I could give her for over a year, that I am resigning. She took it shockingly well. I think she might have known it was coming. More on that later.
By the way, in case you are curious, my new position is working as a therapist through a hospital doing an intensive outpatient therapy program for adolescents. I have always found adolescents to be challenging; in some ways I enjoy them the most, because unlike little children you can do more "real" therapy with them, if they are willing to engage--which brings up the challenge--IF they are willing to engage! Nothing is more difficult than a bratty 15 year staring you down and refusing to talk. So, we'll see. I will miss the little ones, I love working with little kids and doing lots of my own brand of art and play therapy, which in the end usually feels more like having play dates than therapy. But I am so excited for working 8:30-5:00pm Monday-Friday, NO on-call shifts, and NO home visits.
I know no job is perfect and that this one won't be either, that I will have bad days and tough days, but I hope and pray that it's a better experience than my current place of employment (though I do have several co-workers I will miss and some clients too). I just hope this is a place where I can finally take root and get comfortable and feel like I can stay awhile and grow professionally.
Thanks to all my friends and family for their support during this long job search process!
2) So before and during all of that, my mom has been in and out of the hospital. I can't even recall where I left off describing that saga--she's been in for psychiatric treatment and then in again for medical treatment. Without going into lots of details of her personal information, which I am sure she wouldn't want me to share on the internet (well, maybe she wouldn't care, she does tend to be an open book with others about her multitude of illnesses), her physical and mental health have been up and down (mostly down) and it's been pretty hard on me. I now live about four hours away from her and I am torn, I feel guilty and wish I were closer to see her and help out more, but if I were it would probably consume my life, trying to help her and she's really at the point she needs help but she really needs to help herself. She has become pretty dependent on others to monitor her health and to care for her rather than her take charge and care for herself, which is part of the problem, and what a complex problem it is. I think I will leave it at that, rather than go into all the details.
3) And so while all of this was going on I have had some encounters with my boss that were pretty negative. Actually they could have been worse in many ways, but they definitely didn't make for a friendly work environment. Basically she scolded me several times for not keeping her up to date on issues with some of my clients and for doing things without "supervisor approval" (which for her pretty much everything needs her approval). I do understand that supervisors have obvious responsibilities and I should have done better at communicating with her about several issues. But it's really hard when you have a boss who 90% is cold and judgemental and is kind and supportive only about 10% of the time. It's a crap shoot and makes difficult situations even that much harder. Once I leave this job, if I never hear the term "supervisor approval" again I will be very happy. Luckily the people I interviewed with at my new job seem pretty relaxed and hopefully will let me work more autonomously. I feel like the more I work independently the more confident I am in what I do, instead of everything being "I have to check my with supervisor on that." Ick!
I realize that these are some of the main issues I have tended to blog about--job hunting, work, and my mom's health. Finally the work/job hunt issue gets resolved....I will keep everyone posted on how the new job goes.
I know my mom's health will be an ongoing battle. Prayers are appreciated.
(WARNING: Reading the following blog may induce symptoms similar to Bipolar Disorder)
1) I FINALLY GOT A NEW JOB!!!! Hallelujah!! After over a year of searching and interviewing, last week I finally got the call that I was being offered a new job. Intially it felt surreal--after so many interviews, so many times leaving the interview feeling confident, only to have follow up calls and emails not returned, and then only to get the form letter or generic email that the position was filled with someone whose "qualifications most closely match those of the position"--finally I was that person whose qualifications matched the job. In the past week I have thought of those others who applied for this position and were never even called for a first interview, and those who went to interviews and then didn't get the call backs or those who went for a few interviews never to get the final call. I felt for them, being through it so many times. I try to rationalize that everything happens in its own time and for a reason and that this was finally my time and my season.
So this Monday I gave my boss the letter I have been wishing I could give her for over a year, that I am resigning. She took it shockingly well. I think she might have known it was coming. More on that later.
By the way, in case you are curious, my new position is working as a therapist through a hospital doing an intensive outpatient therapy program for adolescents. I have always found adolescents to be challenging; in some ways I enjoy them the most, because unlike little children you can do more "real" therapy with them, if they are willing to engage--which brings up the challenge--IF they are willing to engage! Nothing is more difficult than a bratty 15 year staring you down and refusing to talk. So, we'll see. I will miss the little ones, I love working with little kids and doing lots of my own brand of art and play therapy, which in the end usually feels more like having play dates than therapy. But I am so excited for working 8:30-5:00pm Monday-Friday, NO on-call shifts, and NO home visits.
I know no job is perfect and that this one won't be either, that I will have bad days and tough days, but I hope and pray that it's a better experience than my current place of employment (though I do have several co-workers I will miss and some clients too). I just hope this is a place where I can finally take root and get comfortable and feel like I can stay awhile and grow professionally.
Thanks to all my friends and family for their support during this long job search process!
2) So before and during all of that, my mom has been in and out of the hospital. I can't even recall where I left off describing that saga--she's been in for psychiatric treatment and then in again for medical treatment. Without going into lots of details of her personal information, which I am sure she wouldn't want me to share on the internet (well, maybe she wouldn't care, she does tend to be an open book with others about her multitude of illnesses), her physical and mental health have been up and down (mostly down) and it's been pretty hard on me. I now live about four hours away from her and I am torn, I feel guilty and wish I were closer to see her and help out more, but if I were it would probably consume my life, trying to help her and she's really at the point she needs help but she really needs to help herself. She has become pretty dependent on others to monitor her health and to care for her rather than her take charge and care for herself, which is part of the problem, and what a complex problem it is. I think I will leave it at that, rather than go into all the details.
3) And so while all of this was going on I have had some encounters with my boss that were pretty negative. Actually they could have been worse in many ways, but they definitely didn't make for a friendly work environment. Basically she scolded me several times for not keeping her up to date on issues with some of my clients and for doing things without "supervisor approval" (which for her pretty much everything needs her approval). I do understand that supervisors have obvious responsibilities and I should have done better at communicating with her about several issues. But it's really hard when you have a boss who 90% is cold and judgemental and is kind and supportive only about 10% of the time. It's a crap shoot and makes difficult situations even that much harder. Once I leave this job, if I never hear the term "supervisor approval" again I will be very happy. Luckily the people I interviewed with at my new job seem pretty relaxed and hopefully will let me work more autonomously. I feel like the more I work independently the more confident I am in what I do, instead of everything being "I have to check my with supervisor on that." Ick!
I realize that these are some of the main issues I have tended to blog about--job hunting, work, and my mom's health. Finally the work/job hunt issue gets resolved....I will keep everyone posted on how the new job goes.
I know my mom's health will be an ongoing battle. Prayers are appreciated.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I am not a dentist!
In reaction to my state of stress and burn-out, I have submitted at least 7 online resumes/applications in the past 3 days. I honestly don't know if that sounds like alot or a little. I also am not sure if it an effective way to cope as I fear that it will just add to my tension and frustration--you know, the waiting for replies. Lately I had been lucky to get a decent rate of replies from applications, but things get stalled there and phone interviews don't turn into face to face interviews, or first interviews don't turn into second interviews.
I think my technique is wrong. I heard on the John Tesh radio show (seriously, if you don't listen you should! it's really educational) that you should only spend about 40% of your time and efforts on online job hunting and the other 60% on networking--calling companies and/or people about potential jobs, looking for personal referrals, as they say these days that's how people are getting hired. I probably have done about 95% online hunting and 5% networking. Things that make your go hmmmmmmmm....
In slightly related news, there is the ongoing saga of the family who keeps telling my supervisor and now the psychiatrist that they want a new therapist, but to my face they are singing a different tune. To me they said they thought changing therapists wouldn't really help because the girl doesn't want to be in therapy anyway and they don't think will talk to anyone. I tend to agree with this statement. She's been in therapy for over a year and while sometimes she is more agreeable than others, most of the time she's either quiet or loudly whining and groaning. And keep in mind that she is 17. She is actually a beautiful girl, apparently very smart, but she also has some pretty serious mental health problems that she doesn't want to deal with. And I have been what I feel is very accomodating to this family, have tried to engage this girl, so at this point if they want someone else to take a crack at her, I say go ahead. I just dread the thought that it will turn into a BIG DEAL with my supervisor and all of the potential fall out. Plus I can't help but to take it personally, when I know that my supervisor even said they told her that I was just "so nice and kind", but long story short they want someone more "strong and firm" who can "make the client talk." Because that will definitely help. Urgh!
This is another point of contention with me working with kids...when I get the parents dragging their kids to therapy who really want their kid to be in "boot camp" because they need their child to "learn discipline and respect." These parents are looking at me as the therapist to be more like a drill sergeant or probation officer. I think I need to give parents a disclaimer in our first session that I am neither; it's not my style, my theoretical orientation, or personality. I have learned to be confrontive at times, but still my idea of being confrontive is still pretty "gentle." I am naturally just a soft spoken person, and my style of therapy is more of the "how did that make you feel" approach. And, to boot, I am short, 5'4" in heels if I am lucky, which makes me pretty much the opposite of intimidating. I also have often told parents I am not a dentist so I don't pull teeth--that is, if a kid doesn't want to talk or isn't going to I can't force them to drag it out. I give them lots of patience, understanding, prompting, and plenty of opportunities to talk, but if they can't or won't I am not a dentist, magician, or mind reader.
So, that being said, I will try to keep my head high and roll with the changes, as the wise members of REO would say.
I think my technique is wrong. I heard on the John Tesh radio show (seriously, if you don't listen you should! it's really educational) that you should only spend about 40% of your time and efforts on online job hunting and the other 60% on networking--calling companies and/or people about potential jobs, looking for personal referrals, as they say these days that's how people are getting hired. I probably have done about 95% online hunting and 5% networking. Things that make your go hmmmmmmmm....
In slightly related news, there is the ongoing saga of the family who keeps telling my supervisor and now the psychiatrist that they want a new therapist, but to my face they are singing a different tune. To me they said they thought changing therapists wouldn't really help because the girl doesn't want to be in therapy anyway and they don't think will talk to anyone. I tend to agree with this statement. She's been in therapy for over a year and while sometimes she is more agreeable than others, most of the time she's either quiet or loudly whining and groaning. And keep in mind that she is 17. She is actually a beautiful girl, apparently very smart, but she also has some pretty serious mental health problems that she doesn't want to deal with. And I have been what I feel is very accomodating to this family, have tried to engage this girl, so at this point if they want someone else to take a crack at her, I say go ahead. I just dread the thought that it will turn into a BIG DEAL with my supervisor and all of the potential fall out. Plus I can't help but to take it personally, when I know that my supervisor even said they told her that I was just "so nice and kind", but long story short they want someone more "strong and firm" who can "make the client talk." Because that will definitely help. Urgh!
This is another point of contention with me working with kids...when I get the parents dragging their kids to therapy who really want their kid to be in "boot camp" because they need their child to "learn discipline and respect." These parents are looking at me as the therapist to be more like a drill sergeant or probation officer. I think I need to give parents a disclaimer in our first session that I am neither; it's not my style, my theoretical orientation, or personality. I have learned to be confrontive at times, but still my idea of being confrontive is still pretty "gentle." I am naturally just a soft spoken person, and my style of therapy is more of the "how did that make you feel" approach. And, to boot, I am short, 5'4" in heels if I am lucky, which makes me pretty much the opposite of intimidating. I also have often told parents I am not a dentist so I don't pull teeth--that is, if a kid doesn't want to talk or isn't going to I can't force them to drag it out. I give them lots of patience, understanding, prompting, and plenty of opportunities to talk, but if they can't or won't I am not a dentist, magician, or mind reader.
So, that being said, I will try to keep my head high and roll with the changes, as the wise members of REO would say.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
The epilogue
Ah, a cool breeze blows through the window in our den. Nice.
A few days later, the feelings of disappointment and rejection have faded. The only question now is do I forge on and continue this fruitless job hunt or just try to be content with what I have.
Any thoughts?
A few days later, the feelings of disappointment and rejection have faded. The only question now is do I forge on and continue this fruitless job hunt or just try to be content with what I have.
Any thoughts?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Disappointment and rejection
About three weeks ago I went on a job interview. The interview seemed to go well from my perspective (I generally think they do). I called last Friday and they were still making decisions, but at that time I was still "in consideration", which started my weekend off with a hopeful feeling. Yesterday I got the impersonal form email that the position had been filled and thank you for your interest. I couldn't help but to feel disappointed. And rejected. Yet again.
I know you can't take this kind of rejection personally. And I don't. Mostly.
In the past two years I have been on nine interviews. Maybe that's not alot, maybe it is. (not to mention I have sent out probably over 100 resumes through Careerbuilder.com--again, not sure where in cyberspace those actually go--have emailed out probably close to 50 copies of my resume, and mailed out around 10 hard copies--which doesn't sound like many!!) Out of all nine interviews I have never had a formal offer of full-time employment. One place offered me to work as an independent contractor part-time, but I would have to keep my current job to have benefits, and working two jobs just isn't want I wanted to do. I look back on all of the positions, two were working as college counselors, a career direction I have really wanted to take all along. I am sure I lost out to someone with more relevant experience, as most of my experience is working with kids. Two positions were working at a medical group, two were at agencies working with kids with developmental issues, two were working at another social service agency, one was working in foster care. All were somehow different than my current job, a different setting, slightly different population. Different hours. Just different. I know different isn't always better, but when you are getting burned out and feeling stuck where you are at, different sounds wonderful.
My whole goal is to find a job 1) with better hours and no on-call responsibilites 2) where I can work more independently and have more say in how I manage cases, not have a supervisor micro-manage me and can actually feel like I am using my clinical license 3) have opportunities to gain new and different experiences and to actually move up and not stay at the same level I have for 5 years now. These frustrations make me want to forge ahead, but with so much rejection and disappointing results I am losing my motivation. And after all, a month ago I was just lucky to have my job. Right?
I remember feeling this same sense of rejection when I was applying for graduate school. Foolishly, I applied mostly to Clinical Psychology Ph.D. programs, even when I told they were highly competitive and with my B.A. from Eastern Illinois, not the most prestigious of universities, it was unlikely I would get accepted, even with a 4.0 and all kinds of other honors and accomplishments on my application. So I eagerly awaited news, anxiously emailed contact people asking when decisions would be made. Started receiving disappointing emails and letters in the mail. The worst was from the University of Illinois. I had been emailing them back and forth asking about when they were making decisions, until one day in my inbox it read loud and clear "APPLICATION REJECTED." I am serious! My opinion of the high and mighty U of I changed that day. Eventually I was accepted into two Master's programs, and I took the one that offered me the graduate assistantship and tuition waiver. And now I realize if I didn't go to ISU I likely wouldn't have worked in Bloomington and likely wouldn't have met my husband. So it was all meant to be, right?
As I look back, I think, well maybe this job wasn't meant to be, maybe it wasn't the job for me. Sure, it was better hours, working for a hospital/medical group. But it was a longer commute (15-30 minutes longer), working all with teenagers, which definitely has major pro's and major con's. Or maybe I am just really meant to stay where I am at for some reason. Somedays it's not too bad, I have some pretty cool clients now, but once they are doing better we have to close them anyway. So many co-workers have come and gone since I started I feel I only have connection with a handful.
As the Clash said, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
I want to go, nowhere else wants me.
Is the grass really greener? At this point I just want to be able to stand on that grass and find out for myself.
I know you can't take this kind of rejection personally. And I don't. Mostly.
In the past two years I have been on nine interviews. Maybe that's not alot, maybe it is. (not to mention I have sent out probably over 100 resumes through Careerbuilder.com--again, not sure where in cyberspace those actually go--have emailed out probably close to 50 copies of my resume, and mailed out around 10 hard copies--which doesn't sound like many!!) Out of all nine interviews I have never had a formal offer of full-time employment. One place offered me to work as an independent contractor part-time, but I would have to keep my current job to have benefits, and working two jobs just isn't want I wanted to do. I look back on all of the positions, two were working as college counselors, a career direction I have really wanted to take all along. I am sure I lost out to someone with more relevant experience, as most of my experience is working with kids. Two positions were working at a medical group, two were at agencies working with kids with developmental issues, two were working at another social service agency, one was working in foster care. All were somehow different than my current job, a different setting, slightly different population. Different hours. Just different. I know different isn't always better, but when you are getting burned out and feeling stuck where you are at, different sounds wonderful.
My whole goal is to find a job 1) with better hours and no on-call responsibilites 2) where I can work more independently and have more say in how I manage cases, not have a supervisor micro-manage me and can actually feel like I am using my clinical license 3) have opportunities to gain new and different experiences and to actually move up and not stay at the same level I have for 5 years now. These frustrations make me want to forge ahead, but with so much rejection and disappointing results I am losing my motivation. And after all, a month ago I was just lucky to have my job. Right?
I remember feeling this same sense of rejection when I was applying for graduate school. Foolishly, I applied mostly to Clinical Psychology Ph.D. programs, even when I told they were highly competitive and with my B.A. from Eastern Illinois, not the most prestigious of universities, it was unlikely I would get accepted, even with a 4.0 and all kinds of other honors and accomplishments on my application. So I eagerly awaited news, anxiously emailed contact people asking when decisions would be made. Started receiving disappointing emails and letters in the mail. The worst was from the University of Illinois. I had been emailing them back and forth asking about when they were making decisions, until one day in my inbox it read loud and clear "APPLICATION REJECTED." I am serious! My opinion of the high and mighty U of I changed that day. Eventually I was accepted into two Master's programs, and I took the one that offered me the graduate assistantship and tuition waiver. And now I realize if I didn't go to ISU I likely wouldn't have worked in Bloomington and likely wouldn't have met my husband. So it was all meant to be, right?
As I look back, I think, well maybe this job wasn't meant to be, maybe it wasn't the job for me. Sure, it was better hours, working for a hospital/medical group. But it was a longer commute (15-30 minutes longer), working all with teenagers, which definitely has major pro's and major con's. Or maybe I am just really meant to stay where I am at for some reason. Somedays it's not too bad, I have some pretty cool clients now, but once they are doing better we have to close them anyway. So many co-workers have come and gone since I started I feel I only have connection with a handful.
As the Clash said, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
I want to go, nowhere else wants me.
Is the grass really greener? At this point I just want to be able to stand on that grass and find out for myself.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Pet peeves and general rants
Happy Friday!
Do you notice how people are never quite happy with the weather? It's always either too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry. Luckily here in Illinois if you don't like the weather just wait a day and it's bound to change, or so they say. It's been an unseasonably cool July here in Chicagoland. Personally, I am enjoying this bought of slightly cooler, drier weather. I know it's July and it should be 90 degrees with 100% humidity, but hey, I don't have a pool, a boat, or a million dollars to spend air conditioning my house. Plus I just love being able to sleep with the windows open!
On that note, just a few general rants to start off my Friday. Today is the last day for some of my co-workers. About half of the people initially who were given lay off notices were called back due to changes in the state budget, which was a blessing. However, for those leaving today, the feeling is bittersweet.
On another work related note, last week I experienced a week long bought of severe burn out. I heard long ago when I said those magic words "I want to work with kids" that there is a high rate of burn out for clinicians working with children. Last week I felt it--in my aching neck and shoulders, my exhausted body, my short temper, my cloudy mind. My patience was very low. I just wanted to say to parents, "sorry, your kid is a brat, what do you want me to do about it? maybe if you were home more, maybe if you didn't have 5 different boyfriends in 5 years" or "sorry, your kid is hyperactive. You shouldn't have smoked while you were pregnant" (I believe research states this is true, but if not I have enough anecdotal evidence to back this one up) and I wanted to tell a few of my kids "quit whining! grow up! tell the truth! take a bath! bullshit! or WTF???"
EEEEK!
Not so therapeutic. Luckily, I never expressed any of these thoughts to my clients. Though, for some of them, hearing the brutal truth may be what they need....therapy is so weird sometimes! I work with kids for several months, maybe a year. Sometimes I see them grow and change, if I am lucky I see their parent grow and change too. Sometimes I see change, and the parent insists there is none. I hear the same complaints week after week, I listen, empathize, give suggestions. Nothing changes. Are we wasting every one's time? I even asked a client and mother this last night. They never said yes. If anything, I try to help a kid recognize their own strengths and talents. I figure even if my client and their parent continue duking it out at home hopefully he/she will remember someday that someone helped them to see the good they have inside. Everyone has some, I do believe that.
On a less serious but more acutely annoying note, I HATE when I leave people voice messages and they either never call me back or they call back but CLEARLY didn't listen to my message. So annoying! You see you have a message, listen to it. Parents of my clients do this all the time!!! I leave messages with appointment times, and clearly they didn't listen to it. I have learned to never leave my parents voicemails on their cell phones. I have shown them each like a hundred times how to check voicemail and they still can't do it. So I leave them a message on their old school home answering machine, which they still barely check, but at least know how.
Also, I HATE when you go on interviews and they say they will call you to let you know when they have made a decision. In my experience, this rarely happens. If you are lucky, three months later you get a form letter or email that says sorry, someone else was better qualified, but best of luck in your career search. I HATE even more when you email or call and leave messages with the people who interviewed you, who say at the end of your interview to contact them with any questions, and they never respond. I guess I wouldn't want to have to call someone and say "sorry, we didn't hire you" but at least you can send a nice, impersonal email! Silence often speaks volumes, but I would rather just know for sure to move on. However, recently I did get a return message from an interviewer that someone else was hired, and I told her that I really appreciated her calling me back. And I did.
Another major pet peeve--bad spelling of common words and misused grammar. I am talking simple grammar, like using words like there and their incorrectly. Or when my boss sends out memos or emails with misspelled words, Word and Outlook do have Spell Check. I know how famous people like JFK supposedly were horrible spellers and still succeeded, and I don't expect people to know how to spell words you would find on the GRE vocab test, but seriously, come on! It drives me a little nutty!
Anyway, so I guess I should get back to work.
Do you notice how people are never quite happy with the weather? It's always either too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry. Luckily here in Illinois if you don't like the weather just wait a day and it's bound to change, or so they say. It's been an unseasonably cool July here in Chicagoland. Personally, I am enjoying this bought of slightly cooler, drier weather. I know it's July and it should be 90 degrees with 100% humidity, but hey, I don't have a pool, a boat, or a million dollars to spend air conditioning my house. Plus I just love being able to sleep with the windows open!
On that note, just a few general rants to start off my Friday. Today is the last day for some of my co-workers. About half of the people initially who were given lay off notices were called back due to changes in the state budget, which was a blessing. However, for those leaving today, the feeling is bittersweet.
On another work related note, last week I experienced a week long bought of severe burn out. I heard long ago when I said those magic words "I want to work with kids" that there is a high rate of burn out for clinicians working with children. Last week I felt it--in my aching neck and shoulders, my exhausted body, my short temper, my cloudy mind. My patience was very low. I just wanted to say to parents, "sorry, your kid is a brat, what do you want me to do about it? maybe if you were home more, maybe if you didn't have 5 different boyfriends in 5 years" or "sorry, your kid is hyperactive. You shouldn't have smoked while you were pregnant" (I believe research states this is true, but if not I have enough anecdotal evidence to back this one up) and I wanted to tell a few of my kids "quit whining! grow up! tell the truth! take a bath! bullshit! or WTF???"
EEEEK!
Not so therapeutic. Luckily, I never expressed any of these thoughts to my clients. Though, for some of them, hearing the brutal truth may be what they need....therapy is so weird sometimes! I work with kids for several months, maybe a year. Sometimes I see them grow and change, if I am lucky I see their parent grow and change too. Sometimes I see change, and the parent insists there is none. I hear the same complaints week after week, I listen, empathize, give suggestions. Nothing changes. Are we wasting every one's time? I even asked a client and mother this last night. They never said yes. If anything, I try to help a kid recognize their own strengths and talents. I figure even if my client and their parent continue duking it out at home hopefully he/she will remember someday that someone helped them to see the good they have inside. Everyone has some, I do believe that.
On a less serious but more acutely annoying note, I HATE when I leave people voice messages and they either never call me back or they call back but CLEARLY didn't listen to my message. So annoying! You see you have a message, listen to it. Parents of my clients do this all the time!!! I leave messages with appointment times, and clearly they didn't listen to it. I have learned to never leave my parents voicemails on their cell phones. I have shown them each like a hundred times how to check voicemail and they still can't do it. So I leave them a message on their old school home answering machine, which they still barely check, but at least know how.
Also, I HATE when you go on interviews and they say they will call you to let you know when they have made a decision. In my experience, this rarely happens. If you are lucky, three months later you get a form letter or email that says sorry, someone else was better qualified, but best of luck in your career search. I HATE even more when you email or call and leave messages with the people who interviewed you, who say at the end of your interview to contact them with any questions, and they never respond. I guess I wouldn't want to have to call someone and say "sorry, we didn't hire you" but at least you can send a nice, impersonal email! Silence often speaks volumes, but I would rather just know for sure to move on. However, recently I did get a return message from an interviewer that someone else was hired, and I told her that I really appreciated her calling me back. And I did.
Another major pet peeve--bad spelling of common words and misused grammar. I am talking simple grammar, like using words like there and their incorrectly. Or when my boss sends out memos or emails with misspelled words, Word and Outlook do have Spell Check. I know how famous people like JFK supposedly were horrible spellers and still succeeded, and I don't expect people to know how to spell words you would find on the GRE vocab test, but seriously, come on! It drives me a little nutty!
Anyway, so I guess I should get back to work.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Saturday morning alpha-bits
So I had thought I would make an attempt to start my garden today, as the forecast said it would be near 80 degrees today. However, I ended up switching a shift to be on-call today instead of tomorrow (I have a bridal shower to go to tomorrow for my husband's cousin). I was imagining myself being outside today, covered in dirt, as my pager goes, "do-da-DA-DO-do". However, at least right now, mother nature is putting a stop to all of it, as it's raining and appears to be ready to really thunderstorm. Maybe tomorrow after the shower?
I continue job hunting, though it seems to be in vain. During my most recent job pursuit, I have continued to send out copies of my resume, mostly via email and mostly though Careerbuilder.com. So far, I have gotten zero responses. Back when I first was finishing grad school and job hunting I only sent hard copies of my resume, now most jobs you find online say you can fax or email a resume. I can't help but wondering does it really get to the intended viewer? Do they really check all those emails? But I guess a hard copy can just as easily be pushed aside or filed in the circular bin. I know it's a tough economy and my resume is competing with probably a 100 others for one job, people with more experience than I. It's still extremely disheartening.
I also can't help to wonder when I send an email through Careerbuilder, what are they actually sending to the potential employer? I use Careerbuilder for free, but they have upgraded resume packages that obviously they want you to buy. Do they trick you into thinking you need to buy the upgrade after two years of no responses to sending your resume the standard way? Are they really sending employers a giant picture of a clown face? I know my resume isn't flawless, but there are times I have applied for jobs for which I am definitely over qualified and still didn't get a call. I just don't get it.
Maybe God is trying to tell me to stay where I am at. Even though there are many reasons I don't want to. Maybe it's part of the bigger plan. Sigh.
As a follow up to my last blog, I spoke with the counselor from the crisis program who took back myclient who had been hospitalized, the one whose mother said I "wasn't effective." I now realize those were probably the words of the progress note writer, not a direct quote from the mom. The crisis counselor said that mom thought the client didn't want to talk to me because I seemed too young and too close to her age. I had to laugh at this. I wonder how old they think I am? I am going to be 30 this year, I have been out of grad school for 5 years, but I often still get labeled as fresh out of school, or even a student. In a society obsessed with eternal youth, I have often viewed looking younger than my age as a blessing; however, a friend of mine pointed out that it can be a curse too, that people don't take you seriously. And I definitely see that side of the coin too. It probably doesn't help that I am also short, soft-spoken, and frequently laugh or smile nervously. These are probably why the handful of job interviews I have been on in the past year or so haven't lead to follow-up interviews or offers. Who wants to hire a big kid? If only I could use my child-like qualities to my ultimate advantage...hmmm...what would that be?
I continue job hunting, though it seems to be in vain. During my most recent job pursuit, I have continued to send out copies of my resume, mostly via email and mostly though Careerbuilder.com. So far, I have gotten zero responses. Back when I first was finishing grad school and job hunting I only sent hard copies of my resume, now most jobs you find online say you can fax or email a resume. I can't help but wondering does it really get to the intended viewer? Do they really check all those emails? But I guess a hard copy can just as easily be pushed aside or filed in the circular bin. I know it's a tough economy and my resume is competing with probably a 100 others for one job, people with more experience than I. It's still extremely disheartening.
I also can't help to wonder when I send an email through Careerbuilder, what are they actually sending to the potential employer? I use Careerbuilder for free, but they have upgraded resume packages that obviously they want you to buy. Do they trick you into thinking you need to buy the upgrade after two years of no responses to sending your resume the standard way? Are they really sending employers a giant picture of a clown face? I know my resume isn't flawless, but there are times I have applied for jobs for which I am definitely over qualified and still didn't get a call. I just don't get it.
Maybe God is trying to tell me to stay where I am at. Even though there are many reasons I don't want to. Maybe it's part of the bigger plan. Sigh.
As a follow up to my last blog, I spoke with the counselor from the crisis program who took back myclient who had been hospitalized, the one whose mother said I "wasn't effective." I now realize those were probably the words of the progress note writer, not a direct quote from the mom. The crisis counselor said that mom thought the client didn't want to talk to me because I seemed too young and too close to her age. I had to laugh at this. I wonder how old they think I am? I am going to be 30 this year, I have been out of grad school for 5 years, but I often still get labeled as fresh out of school, or even a student. In a society obsessed with eternal youth, I have often viewed looking younger than my age as a blessing; however, a friend of mine pointed out that it can be a curse too, that people don't take you seriously. And I definitely see that side of the coin too. It probably doesn't help that I am also short, soft-spoken, and frequently laugh or smile nervously. These are probably why the handful of job interviews I have been on in the past year or so haven't lead to follow-up interviews or offers. Who wants to hire a big kid? If only I could use my child-like qualities to my ultimate advantage...hmmm...what would that be?
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