Taking time to smell my flowers

A day or two after I took the last picture, I saw that the wildflowers I had planted around the side of the house had finally opened up. This picture doesn't do them much justice--I was delighted to see bright pinks and deep blues and warm purples appear! Next to it I also planted a bluish/purple hydrangea plant which was on clearance, it wasn't looking so good but I hope to use my newfound gardening skills to nurse it back to health. About a month or so ago my husband bought me a set of gardening tools (I think they were on sale with a rebate from Menards. Save Big Money at Menards! He LOVES Menards!) so at least he's encouraging my habits :)

I was also excited today to find growing in my vegetable garden two green tomatoes and a cucumber about the size of a baby's finger. Also a few of the agapanthus bulbs I planted just sprouted stalks and may flower soon...I am dorky for being excited about all of this???

As my garden grows

So it's been awhile; after finding out I still have a job it seems that I have either been busy working (at my job), working outside on our yard, going to family gatherings, or just sleeping!

So here's the status of my garden/flowerbed. As you can see, the little white flowers are the only things blooming so far, but there's lots of green (which is good! except for the ones we aren't sure are weeds or flowers, so far I am giving them the benefit of the doubt). I was pretty amazed watching my little bulbs and seeds start to germinate and grow. I can't help but be amazed by the simple beauty of nature sometimes, how a little water and alot of sunshine is all plants need to live and flourish.

Saturday morning alpha-bits

So I had thought I would make an attempt to start my garden today, as the forecast said it would be near 80 degrees today. However, I ended up switching a shift to be on-call today instead of tomorrow (I have a bridal shower to go to tomorrow for my husband's cousin). I was imagining myself being outside today, covered in dirt, as my pager goes, "do-da-DA-DO-do". However, at least right now, mother nature is putting a stop to all of it, as it's raining and appears to be ready to really thunderstorm. Maybe tomorrow after the shower?

I continue job hunting, though it seems to be in vain. During my most recent job pursuit, I have continued to send out copies of my resume, mostly via email and mostly though Careerbuilder.com. So far, I have gotten zero responses. Back when I first was finishing grad school and job hunting I only sent hard copies of my resume, now most jobs you find online say you can fax or email a resume. I can't help but wondering does it really get to the intended viewer? Do they really check all those emails? But I guess a hard copy can just as easily be pushed aside or filed in the circular bin. I know it's a tough economy and my resume is competing with probably a 100 others for one job, people with more experience than I. It's still extremely disheartening.

I also can't help to wonder when I send an email through Careerbuilder, what are they actually sending to the potential employer? I use Careerbuilder for free, but they have upgraded resume packages that obviously they want you to buy. Do they trick you into thinking you need to buy the upgrade after two years of no responses to sending your resume the standard way? Are they really sending employers a giant picture of a clown face? I know my resume isn't flawless, but there are times I have applied for jobs for which I am definitely over qualified and still didn't get a call. I just don't get it.

Maybe God is trying to tell me to stay where I am at. Even though there are many reasons I don't want to. Maybe it's part of the bigger plan. Sigh.

As a follow up to my last blog, I spoke with the counselor from the crisis program who took back myclient who had been hospitalized, the one whose mother said I "wasn't effective." I now realize those were probably the words of the progress note writer, not a direct quote from the mom. The crisis counselor said that mom thought the client didn't want to talk to me because I seemed too young and too close to her age. I had to laugh at this. I wonder how old they think I am? I am going to be 30 this year, I have been out of grad school for 5 years, but I often still get labeled as fresh out of school, or even a student. In a society obsessed with eternal youth, I have often viewed looking younger than my age as a blessing; however, a friend of mine pointed out that it can be a curse too, that people don't take you seriously. And I definitely see that side of the coin too. It probably doesn't help that I am also short, soft-spoken, and frequently laugh or smile nervously. These are probably why the handful of job interviews I have been on in the past year or so haven't lead to follow-up interviews or offers. Who wants to hire a big kid? If only I could use my child-like qualities to my ultimate advantage...hmmm...what would that be?

Some updates

So I realized I am supposed to be chronicling the progress on goals and ideas referenced in previous entries. So, here it goes...

No hobby yet. I did bake a cake (from a box) for my husband's birthday several weeks ago. I think if I want to learn to bake "fancy" things I might have to look for a class. However, I seriously think as it gets warmer I will be planting a garden. The question now is flowers or veggies?

Regarding working out more, last week I went to they gym once, same the week before. In my defense, I planned to work out last Thursday but ended up going to the doctor (only to find out there's nothing wrong with me), and I also planned to go again on Saturday but I woke up feeling kind of dizzy and lightheaded (still not sure why). I thought working out would either make this significantly worse or possibly better, so I ended up taking the lazy way out and snuggled up with the hubby til I felt better. And Sunday I was on-call, though I had no calls until later in the evening, so I had all morning when I could have gone, but I always fear that if I actually went to the gym that the second I get on the treadmill my pager will go off. Rationalization? This week I went to the gym Tuesday and got pretty sweaty, and I plan to eat breakfast and go here soon.

Did I mention that doctor's scales always add an additional 5 pounds? They have to. Last week when I went I was apalled by the number I saw come up. Do my clothes and shoes weigh that much? Either way, I am still hoping to lose 5-7 pounds. So you can see my motivation for making my Lenten resolution to cut out fast food. I will keep you posted on that one!

Let them have cake...

So this was the masterpiece I created for my husband. Just cake from a box and icing from a can, but I was pretty happy with how it turned out. Apparently it tastes good too!

I need a hobby

I suppose it's because of the cold weather, which has been keeping me inside and giving me cabin fever, but after another weekend of sitting around watching way too much t.v. with the husband, I have come to the conclusion that I need a hobby! I have often told my husband (who is always complaining that he's bored after five minutes of doing nothing) that I rarely get bored, that I can entertain myself quite easily. As a kid I often could find I could play for hours just by using my imagination (where did that skill go?) or by reading or even just daydreaming. As an adult I typically can find things to do to entertain myself, like checking email, facebook, myspace, googling random things, basically wasting time on the computer...and then there's reading, and then back to watching t.v. or movies. Well, after this weekend of doing alot of all those things and feeling very wasteful of my time and very, well, bored, I realized I need to find something to really focus on during my free time, something to do to enjoy and really use my free time in a way I can look back and feel productive. I remember as I was finishing grad school thinking of how when I graduated I would finally have more free time to maybe get a hobby, but somehow I ended up with a boyfriend and for awhile that took up all my free time (hey, I wasn't complaining! It was summer and we were having fun!) Before I know it we're planning a wedding, which definitely takes up all your free time, then we're moving, building a house, and more free time is spent on all kinds of planning, decision making...so now we've been in this house for a year+ and finally things have settled down and I have some of that coveted "free time" and am like "what to do now?" So...there are alot of things I like that I would like to do more, like possibly learning to bake fancy things, to take better pictures, to take up the flute or piano again (ok, those would involve purchasing instruments, not sure about that), and then there are things I have never done at all (sewing or knitting)...I think I will be trying to explore some possibilties, and I will keep you posted on the progress.