Monday, August 24, 2009

Post Script

Ah, the joys of marriage.

Being only two and a half years in, I am still learning every day, and boy, do I still have alot to learn. (Too bad alot isn't a word.)

Yesterday my husband and I shared a wonderful day. We ate lunch at his parents' house, spent a little time with our 3 year old nephew, went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, did a little grocery shopping, ate dinner together, watched the Sex and the City movie on t.v. (without being forced against his will). Nice, relaxing, enjoyable time spent together.

Then I got up to get some juice from the fridge.

He just had to complain that I left the refrigerator open while pouring my drink, and I just had I tried to defend my actions (was it really that big of a deal? was I really wasting that much more electricity?). Before I know it he's angry, I'm angry. Blah. Good day down the crapper.

Often after these spats I try to step back and take a look at our relationship. In so many ways I am the man and he is the woman. He is the planner, the organizer. And he is the one who nags and complains. I tend to be more go with the flow, even a little impulsive at times. I tend to react and sometimes be passive-aggressive instead of straightforward. For being a therapist, I am pretty crappy at communication, at least at being straightforward and direct. Often it seems that my husband overcompensates by being, in my opinion, too forward and direct.

But in many ways I am the woman. I am the one who does the dishes and laundry. I clean the house, which I actually like to do when I have the time. I run on emotions, at least when I am home (hopefully less so at work).

And in many ways he is the man. He is the "fixer" of all things broken, whether it be a tile, a shower door, or plans. He does most of the outdoor stuff, like the mowing, the trimming, the car-related repairs. He runs on rationalism and logic, in fact I dare say that Spock is his idol.

And some days, most days, most of the time, it all meshes. But then, every once in awhile, we hit a snag.

They say communication is the key to a good relationship. I think it is one of the keys, but so is ultimate patience, forgiveness, humility, acceptance, and selflessness. Seesh! That's a tall order! And trust me, none of those traits come easy all the time.

So, I know we'll hit sore spots, snags, and snaffoo's. But I also know in 2 1/2 years of marriage and 5 years together that getting through all of the tough times has ultimately brought us closer and, hopefully, more tolerant and understand of our differences. After all, some of those differences is what initially attracted us to each other in the first place!

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