Saturday morning alpha-bits

So I had thought I would make an attempt to start my garden today, as the forecast said it would be near 80 degrees today. However, I ended up switching a shift to be on-call today instead of tomorrow (I have a bridal shower to go to tomorrow for my husband's cousin). I was imagining myself being outside today, covered in dirt, as my pager goes, "do-da-DA-DO-do". However, at least right now, mother nature is putting a stop to all of it, as it's raining and appears to be ready to really thunderstorm. Maybe tomorrow after the shower?

I continue job hunting, though it seems to be in vain. During my most recent job pursuit, I have continued to send out copies of my resume, mostly via email and mostly though Careerbuilder.com. So far, I have gotten zero responses. Back when I first was finishing grad school and job hunting I only sent hard copies of my resume, now most jobs you find online say you can fax or email a resume. I can't help but wondering does it really get to the intended viewer? Do they really check all those emails? But I guess a hard copy can just as easily be pushed aside or filed in the circular bin. I know it's a tough economy and my resume is competing with probably a 100 others for one job, people with more experience than I. It's still extremely disheartening.

I also can't help to wonder when I send an email through Careerbuilder, what are they actually sending to the potential employer? I use Careerbuilder for free, but they have upgraded resume packages that obviously they want you to buy. Do they trick you into thinking you need to buy the upgrade after two years of no responses to sending your resume the standard way? Are they really sending employers a giant picture of a clown face? I know my resume isn't flawless, but there are times I have applied for jobs for which I am definitely over qualified and still didn't get a call. I just don't get it.

Maybe God is trying to tell me to stay where I am at. Even though there are many reasons I don't want to. Maybe it's part of the bigger plan. Sigh.

As a follow up to my last blog, I spoke with the counselor from the crisis program who took back myclient who had been hospitalized, the one whose mother said I "wasn't effective." I now realize those were probably the words of the progress note writer, not a direct quote from the mom. The crisis counselor said that mom thought the client didn't want to talk to me because I seemed too young and too close to her age. I had to laugh at this. I wonder how old they think I am? I am going to be 30 this year, I have been out of grad school for 5 years, but I often still get labeled as fresh out of school, or even a student. In a society obsessed with eternal youth, I have often viewed looking younger than my age as a blessing; however, a friend of mine pointed out that it can be a curse too, that people don't take you seriously. And I definitely see that side of the coin too. It probably doesn't help that I am also short, soft-spoken, and frequently laugh or smile nervously. These are probably why the handful of job interviews I have been on in the past year or so haven't lead to follow-up interviews or offers. Who wants to hire a big kid? If only I could use my child-like qualities to my ultimate advantage...hmmm...what would that be?